Q. Why did God give man a penis?
A. So we'd have at least one way to shut a woman up!

Q. What are the small bumps around a woman's' nipples for?
A. Its Braille for "suck here."

Q. What's the difference between a woman with PMS and a pitbull?
A. Lipstick.

Q. Why do women close their eyes during sex?
A. They can't stand seeing a man have a good time.

Q. Why did the army send so many women with PMS to the Persian Gulf?
A. They fought like animals and retained water for 4 days.

Q. What's the difference between your wife and your job?
A. After 5 years your job will still suck.

Q. How is a women like a condom?
A. Both of them spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.

Q.What's the difference between a '90's woman and a computer?
A. A '90's woman won't accept a three and a half inch floppy.